MEETING
PEOPLE ONLINE
Forming
Relationships Before You Travel
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One of the greatest joys and experiences with traveling is meeting
individuals who actually live in the area you will be visiting. Who
better to meet than the "locals" as chances are they will
be your best tour guides. When I travel I always try to meet people
in advance of my trip. During previous trips I have had the good
fortune of meeting some great people and forming lasting
relationships. Additionally I have been able to stay for free with
some of the people I've met online - which allows one to see how the
locals live and offers a better chance to meet friends and family.
This article will provide detailed information about using online
Instant Messaging (IM) programs to meet people, establishing
confidence in an online relationship, and building an online
relationship once you have met someone on the Internet. The
information in this article is based on personal experience. I have
used instant messaging programs before several of my trips to meet
and travel with people. This is not a technical article so there
will not be a lot of details about how to search for people or how
to use the programs.
There are several well known free Instant Messaging Programs, among
them, ICQ, MSN
Messenger, and AOL
Instant Messenger (AIM). With minor variations, all of these
programs allow you to communicate using instant messaging with
anyone in the world who also uses these programs. Another program
called Trillian
essentially incorporates any of these above programs into one
program so that you can use all of these programs at once instead of
running each of them separately on your computer. With only minor
differences Instant Messaging programs all serve a primary need -
the desire to communicate with other people.
The one program focused on in this article is ICQ
because of my long time experience and knowledge using this
particular program.
Instant Messaging can be a great way to meet people from around the
world. Before your trip you will need to run a search for people
based on their geographical location, sex, age, interests and a
variety of other characteristics. Typically this search can be
conducted from either the IM program or the IM program's website.
Before I travel I usually run a search for someone online in the
locations that I will be visiting. I try to allow myself up to a
month before taking my trip to start my search for people and at
least several weeks to build an online relationship before actually
meeting the chat partner in person.
People ask me - aren't your searches totally random? My searches
are not totally random - I am |
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able to search by criteria that helps me narrow down my
search. I usually search for people (M or F) within a
certain age group and who have similar interests to my own. Once I
have narrowed down my search I usually try to "meet" one
or two of these people online, in the area that I will be visiting.
When building an online relationship with the intention of
eventually meeting it is always a good idea to start out by finding
as much information as you can about the person. Generally a person
will list basic information such as their age, name and where they
live in the "details" section of their Instant Messenger
account, but you will need to find out much more. Ask about their
family - find out if they have any siblings - find out about their
parents. Are they a student - if so what are they studying and where
are they studying, do they work - if so what is their job and who
are they working for? Have them tell you a little bit about where
they live and what they like & dislike about where they live.
Get as many details as possible - find out specifics. Be sure to get
photos emailed to you. Ask about the people in the photos - the
general idea is to find out as much information as possible about
the person.
It is wise to be open with the person from the beginning of your
online relationship. Share as much with them as you feel comfortable
doing so. Be sure to tell them you will be traveling to their
country and their city and you enjoy meeting "local"
people during your travels.
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Additionally if they are already online they may have their own
website or other information about themselves online either through
their work or school. Try to have them instant message or email you
any information online that would solidify what they have told you
about themselves. Do they have a personal website? Ask for their
company website - perhaps the company website might contain their
employee bio.
It is also a good idea to have several conversations on the
phone before you actually meet the person. You should call
them and also have them call you at least once. |
Calling cards with excellent long
distance rates are readily available just by doing an online search.
Chatting with your online partner via the Internet helps break the
ice of having a phone conversation with someone you have never met
in person.
Be alert for weird behavior online - if the person starts writing
things that make you uncomfortable or they start making requests
that do not feel right this should immediately send up warning
bells. If something doesn't feel right about the person you are
chatting with, or something is not adding up always err on the side
of caution. This may not be a person you want to meet.
Set up the meeting time and place ahead of time preferably before
you leave for your trip. Carry their contact information with you
should you need to contact them once you arrive in their home
town/city. It is always a good idea to have a friend with you for
the initial meeting. In addition, you should meet your online friend
in a very public place preferably during daylight hours. A
well-known cafe or a restaurant serves as an ideal meeting place.
It can be a bit scary for you and for the person you are meeting
before you actually meet in person. I've met people for the first
time in which their cell phone was ringing every 10 minutes. The
calls were from concerned friends and family to make sure they were
all right! |
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This is just a brief overview of forming online relationships with
the intent of meeting the person during your travels. You may have
your own personal experience in this area. If so please send your
comments or stories to dave@pon.net
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